this isn't going to be a micro entry, sorry. but i HAVE to write it down.
There was this crazy encounter that i had at an illegal rave when it got cancelled. It felt like a movie.

It was back in december 2022 and it was -2 degrees outside. i went to this rave with a couple of friends. everyone was waiting for the music to get on. apparently the generator broke so we had no electricity. then there was this little guy with the orange cap that announced that we could continue the rave at his house all the way across the city in a different town. mind you, we were currently next to the highway on a deserted business terrain in the middle of nowhere. people have decided to go home and some other people went to the place by uber or bike.
But i was in the middle of a situation with my brother because i invited him to go here so i called him and said: 'yeah we got a problem, the rave got cancelled.' he was downtown and got very sad: 'i did all this for nothing now.'
i started to feel bad so i told him about this new place. But in hindsight, I could have told him not to come. 'okay i'm on my way.'
i decided to go by bike with 4 other guys that me and my friend E found. E was with his friend R and the 3 other guys were totally random people: T, M and J.
So it was our plan to cycle with 3 bikes, 2 people on each bike. everyone was under the influence of either xtc, ketamine, alcohol and/or weed. we smoked some and i took one massive hit and felt like i was about to fall off of earth so these guys helped me stay up. 'everything is going to be okay. don't smoke some more now.'
J was mostly talking to me and was venting stuff. he asked me if i wanted to borrow his jacket after i told him i got it cold. but after the smoking session we started cycling. i cycled with T on the back, E cycled with M on the rack at front of his bike, J was cycling with R on the back.
it was quite chaotic because some people cycled way behind and we had to wait, but eventually E and M were mostly at the front and then the rest of the 2 duo's were cycling together. me and T were switching places sometimes.
we cycled next to the canal the whole time after cycling up bridges. in the meantime you could see a dynamic between this group which was funny.
R was just tripping on xtc so we had to make sure there was enough water but not too much for him. M and T were the most childish. T was active and energetic the most while J tried to keep the guys away from doing weird shit because everyone was under the influence including himself but he managed to keep things under control. E was neutral but also tried to manage to group because he knew the way. idk what M did but he was always with E hanging out. I was just very quiet, didn't say much.
we had lots of breaks because it's heavy to carry people behind you. i was stressed out about my brother the whole time and he said to me he'd rather want to party with me if i was there with him. i was talking about it with T and he said everything is going to be fine. Then we talked about playing bass and he said he just bought one to play metal which is cool. then i didn't knew what to talk about so after we had a short convoversation he said: 'that was a good story.' We switched places again and he started cycling. he would sometimes joke: 'what if i would cycle into the canal? that'd be lovely.'
'NO T, GODAMNIT ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?' J yelled. they started to have random conversations. they mostly argued, made jokes and talked about random topics they had an opinion about. it was one big comedy show.
We had another break. we had to take care of robin but he was doing fine he said. he was listening to lots of music. I carried 2 bottles of AA drinks for the guys and a waterbottle for me and R. E and M were mostly cycling individually from the group but they were fine.
While we were standing in the middle of the bike path i borrowed some handgloves from J. his mom made them and they were lovely. i wore them over my handgloves.

we were wondering how much further the road is going to be and E said it was going to be around 7km. it was already 2am and we had the confidence we will get there in 30 minutes, so we continued cycling.
the path we took was really beautiful at night. it was a bit foggy but the vision was enough to see downtown city lights across the water. our path was abandoned during this time so we were completely alone. J and R were cycling on the right while me and T were on the left. While J and T were arguing i looked at R if he was doing okay. the country side was behind him in the darkness with just a few lights poking out. he was still listening to music holding on to J while having his eyes closed. J asked me how i was doing and i said i was doing fine. T kept asking me if i forreal didn't took any drugs besides weed. 'yes i'm forreal.' i'm not mentally prepared for it. He was surprised but understood the reason.
'have you smoked weed before?'
'yes i have. a lot more in the past than now. i try to smoke less so i have stopped for a while.'
'ahh i see. good for you forreal.'
'yeah, thanks.'
'if you have changed your mind i would like to smoke some with you if you want.'
'yeah, sure. totally fine haha, why not.'
'nice, nice,' as he nodded.

We were having a break again but then under a bridge. I was still stressed out and me and E wanted to keep going: 'ah cmon guys, again??' it was already 3am now.T and M wanted to smoke weed while the rest was just sitting there, but the vibes were chill. i was talking a lot with J and R was sitting next to me while E stood. T and M decided to climb up the bridge sitting next to the traintracks. J was talking a lot about his friends, family and his mental health. He wasn't afraid to talk about it. He was glad that i got a good bond with my brother. He didn't really had a good bond with his parents and had toxic friends, but he's doing way better now so that's good. Regardless of his parent's strictness he still loves them. his mom really loves knitting whool and has made lots of things for him like gloves and beanies. she also made mandala knittings for decoration. He showed me pictures of her insta page it was adorable actually.
I talked about my situation to the rest of the people about my brother.
'don't stress out about it, we'll get there soon.' R said.
'yeah he's definitely having a great time.' J said.
'I do understand it that you're stressed out and that you're not there with him. But i know he's not going to be angry about it.' E said.
'but my brother is introverted and doesn't know these people.' i said.
'Then he definitely went home so don't worry.' I don't know which of them said these words but it felt like they were one person, one brain.
'thanks guys.'

in the mean time E joined T and M on the bridge. When they came back they all agreed that this night is the most beautiful night they ever had.
R stood up: 'before the rave, i had 3 things what i wanted to achieve this night: 1, doing drugs and have a great time...'
'check!' everone said in harmony.
'2, making new friends.'
'check!'
'3: maybe... you know... making out with someone tonight... so...'
'so, if anyone here wants to confess, you can say it right now. now it's your chance,' E said while looking at everyone individually. everyone was looking at eachother as well. it was quiet but with no awkward tension at all. everything was casual.
'So, no? nobody? alright then. but this night is still great. i love you guys. y'all are the best!' everyone celebrated.
we grabbed our bikes and continued cycling again. this time i was cycling with T on the back. And eventually we ended up in the other town where the house is located. after we cycled over the last bridge i noticed the rack on the back of my bike where T was sitting on was about to break. There were no screws loose yet but it was quite rusty so maybe it'll break in less than an hour. but we were confident about it. R had to take a piss somewhere so we stopped. There was a car in the middle of the road with 2 people in it and it looked like the car was broken. We minded our business we don't have time left.
we took the last longest road and were almost at the house. R suddenly wanted to switch with T and asked me to put his arms around me.
'yeah sure, are you doing alright?' i asked.
'yeah i just need this.'
'it's going to be ok.'
he put his arms around my stomach and began to hang onto it as if he was about to fall. after 15 minutes he suddenly relaxed and said: 'i woke up guys. it's suddenly gone.'
'AAAYYYEE.' everyone shouted and cheered. his trip was gone like a snap of a finger and felt sober again. i didn't know it could happen like that.
'yeah well it happens haha.' Then they switched again with T back on my bike. i'm still confused why he wanted to switch with T.
We noticed there was snow everywhere and it started snowing as well. It got really slippery while we were 10 minutes away from the party. suddenly 2 guys stepped up to us asking what we were doing. they looked 30 years old. 'we're going to a party.'
'oh we'd also like to go to a party. is it possible to go with you guys?'
'hmm i don't think so. it's a private one bro. i'm sorry.'
'yeah, it's only with young people.'
'ah ok well, such a bummer.' and then they talked about weed and M and T were interested. After a while talking with these guys we went cycling and running to the street where the party was. J wanted to ride on my bike and i sat behind him and my rack broke. so i started running while the rest of the guys were behind us running as well. we finally got into the street and slipped and slided towards the house. we almost fell and panted from running and screaming: 'we're almost there!'
'WAIT GUYS STOP STOP!' E suddenly yelled.
we turned our backs to him: 'WHAT! WHAT IS IT?!'
'i just got a text from someone that police came to the house.'
'no forreal??' T said as we where standing in the middle of an intersection.
'it's cancelled guys.'
it was such a bummer for me. all for nothing. but perhaps all for something.
'are you joking right now?' M asked.
'maybe we can still chill there but without loud music?' T asked.
'nahh, police is probably still there.'
'well, guys. it was really fun with y'all. i will never forget this night. it was one of my best times!' J said.
'yeah man foreal.' 'it was quite funny tbh.' 'yeah it was great.'
some people shared their socials. i said i had to go because else my parents would be mad. it was 4:45am.
'ahh really? it was fun bro.'
i said my farewells to them and they said not to worry about anything because in the end everything is going to be fine. 'but did you have fun? R asked.
'yeah i did, it was funny and random. it was crazy haha.'
'good because that's what matters.' The rest went chilling outside somewhere in the cold. T M and J were planning to walk all the way to central station.

When i got home i checked if my brother got home safe and he did. I felt really bad.
The next morning i apologized immediately but he didn't got angry. he was more dissapointed but i still kept apologizing. 'yo it's fine don't worry about it. when i got there i saw the door closing and i didn't want to knock because they don't know me so i went straight home.'
bless my days these guys were right after all. ofc i still felt bad.
I checked the rave's insta story and the orginization were apologizing for all the circumstances. apparently the guy with the orange cap WAS NOT from the orginization at all and broke the generator and wanted everyone to go to his house. now they're trying to talk to him about his actions and have decided to not give rave's in the winter anymore. they apologized for everything.

It was the most chaotic night of my life but i did it for the plot.